Why I Won’t Call Our Baby a Rainbow Baby

Rainbow baby: a baby born after the loss of a child through miscarriage or stillbirth.

When I announced that we were having another baby on social media, I had comments congratulating us on our rainbow baby – a baby following my early miscarriage back in October. While the intentions were well meant and appreciated, it made me realise that I don’t want our baby girl to be a rainbow baby.

She is quite simply a much wanted and an already much loved baby.

I know for some parents, the idea of calling a baby conceived or born after a miscarriage or a loss a rainbow baby must be incredibly comforting, I guess even more so if the loss happened at a later stage and I totally understand why they might do it, and I would never judge anyone for wanting to call their baby that. Your new baby is something beautiful after a time of gut-wrenching sadness. However, I don’t want this baby to be associated with what has been the most horrible experience I have ever gone through. It isn’t fair on the baby we lost and isn’t fair on this baby.

For me, calling baby girl a rainbow focuses more on the sadness that surrounded the previous pregnancy than it does on the happiness of the new one. I don’t want to forget the baby that never made it – it will always be there, at the back of my mind, despite it never making it past seven weeks gestation – but I don’t want to be reminded of it every time I think about our new baby. I don’t want to look at her face and think ‘You’re here because another baby isn’t’. I don’t want her to ever feel like she is living in a shadow.

Photo by Dewang Gupta on Unsplash

Why I Won't Call Our Baby A Rainbow Baby

6 thoughts on “Why I Won’t Call Our Baby a Rainbow Baby

  1. That is a lovely post Rachel. I understand what you mean too. I don’t love the term, but respect a persons choice to use it. ‘You’re here because another baby isn’t’ – that is how I tend to think about it. <3 much love x

  2. I had never heard of the term until a year or so ago on facebook and had to look up what it meant, I dont blame you for not wanting her to be a rainbow baby, as you said she is her own self and will be very much loved anyway, and I also agree it can be comforting to others especially with a loss later in pregnancy, my friends little boy was born at 42 weeks still born so you can understand it then xx

  3. Enjoy your pregnancy. Your little girl doesn’t need any labels x

  4. Didn’t know what a rainbow baby was until now – must say I agree with your decision

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.