Rainbow baby: a baby born after the loss of a child through miscarriage or stillbirth.
When I announced that we were having another baby on social media, I had comments congratulating us on our rainbow baby – a baby following my early miscarriage back in October. While the intentions were well meant and appreciated, it made me
She is quite simply a much wanted and an already much loved baby.
I know for some parents, the idea of calling a baby conceived or born after a miscarriage or a loss a rainbow baby must be incredibly comforting, I guess even more so if the loss happened at a later stage and I totally understand why they might do it, and I would never judge anyone for wanting to call their baby that. Your new baby is something beautiful after a time of gut-wrenching sadness. However, I don’t want this baby to be associated with what has been the most horrible experience I have ever gone through. It isn’t fair on the baby we lost and isn’t fair on this baby.
For me, calling baby girl a rainbow focuses more on the sadness that surrounded the previous pregnancy than it does on the happiness of the new one. I don’t want to forget the baby that never made it – it will always be there, at the back of my mind, despite it never making it past seven weeks gestation – but I don’t want to be reminded of it every time I think about our new baby. I don’t want to look at her face and think ‘You’re here because another baby isn’t’. I don’t want her to ever feel like she is living in a shadow.