Parenting can be an overwhelming task. Nobody is prepared, even with the best practice, because everybody faces different situations. Studies show that in places like Wyoming, the parents of teen children are the ones that feel most doubtful of their parenting skills. Children have different personalities; thus, their directions to conditions and circumstances also differ.
You may start getting negative thoughts about your parenting. The reasons may vary from the lack of time to being unable to help your kids in their time of need. But, it is common for parents to get skeptical about their parenting styles. If you are also one of them, breathe! This article mentions tried and tested ways to refrain from thinking negatively and move forward with positivity.
Mindfulness is when you choose to take control of your thoughts. It would help if you practiced taking deep breaths whenever you doubted yourself as a parent. Let the thoughts settle and recognize if you should hook to them or let them go. You can follow a prayer ritual similar to Wyoming Carmelites to calm the mind. Praying helps you create a mindful environment for yourself. It is one important practice to follow for all parents. The main reason is that parenting will get you into many loopholes. You may start to doubt yourself, your skills, and even your knowledge. Therefore, you should have a strong, clear, and conscious mind.
Name it to tame it
It is one of the best tried and tested techniques to tame your negative thoughts. It is a psychological method to help people overcome their negative thinking. In this technique, you need to name the ideas right when you notice a negative pattern arising in your mind. It is crucial to call them in a way that soothes your mind. In simple words, you should do it humorously. The naming can be as simple as ‘aahhh negatives again’ to ‘the radio boom .’ The main aim is to shift your focus from that thought to something productive.
The inner critic forms the core of most of our internal struggles and doubts. Therefore, it is important to talk to yourself in a way you would, to calm your child. Parenting is a tough job; you can not accept yourself to succeed every time. So, the next time you doubt your parenting skills, try to turn the criticism into self-compassion. For instance, if you feel you cannot build a strong relationship with your child, you must motivate yourself instead of being hard on yourself. Tell yourself that you can do it, and you’re trying to build it. Kindness and self-compassion pave the way for more motivated individuals. In comparison, self-limiting thoughts refrain you from moving forward.
Shift your focus
Steering the focus from the negative to the positive by asking relevant questions helps reduce the harmful effects. Ask yourself questions like:
- Is the thought helpful?
- Can I take any effective action using this thought?
- What is evidence to support this thought?
After you gain control over your thoughts, you may want to help yourself by thinking positively. Use the following questions:
- How can I make the best of this situation?
- Can there be any other perspective to it?
Parenting is no easy road; you will feel bumps throughout your journey. But it would benefit you if you did not let yourself feel bad. Take on this project with full motivation. You can raise great humans with your constant effort and experience.