The ten people you will always find on the bus

Photo Credit: Chris @ Captured by Chrissyguit



1. The Legspreaders

These are usually smartly dressed blokes. Apparently their family jewels are so big they need to open his legs as wide as possible, squashing his fellow passengers against the window.

2. The Seat Hogger

Usually a woman. Seems to think that their handbag and shopping deserves a seat all to themselves, whilst you stand up and hang on for dear life. Huffs and gives filthy looks if you dare ask them if you can sit down.

3. The Huffer

If asked to move over, or god forbid they have to move to let someone in a wheelchair or with a pushchair on, they huff and puff. Huffs and puffs if children make any sort of noise. Huffs and puffs at being stuck in traffic.

4. The ‘Twirlies’

These are the little old ladies and men with OAP passes. They can be found hobbling onto a bus at 9.28am asking if they are ‘too early’.

5. The Idiot Without Headphones

Usually listening to hard core gangsta rap or drum and bass. Mistakenly believes that the whole bus wants to hear it as well.

6. The Stander-Upper

There can be a bus full of empty seats but they always stand up right at the front, getting in everyone’s way, or stands next to you hitting you with their oversized backpack.

7. TheĀ Blocker

Very closely related to the stander-upper and huffer. Tends to stand on or at the bottom of the stairs, or right by the door, blocking everyones way. Huffs and gives dirty looks when asked to move.

8. The Smoker

Sits upstairs at the back of the bus and completely ignores all the no-smoking signs.

9. The Faffer

Stands at the bus stop for half an hour, then waits until they are on the bus to dig out their purse and count out the fare in pennies.

10. The Ignorant B*****d

Hides behind newspaper or mobile phone, pretending not to see any elderly/disabled/pregnant women have got on.


Which of these have you encountered?





One thought on “The ten people you will always find on the bus

  1. Stander-uppers are the worst! If you have problems being near people, maybe walk huh? I have to admit I’m a reformed faffer though x

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