Remember when England actually brought football home? Not the blokes. Not Gareth Southgate in his waistcoat. I’m talking about the Lionesses, the absolute legends who stormed the UEFA Women’s Euro 2022 and made history. They didn’t just win a tournament; they smashed it. They played their hearts out and showed the entire bloody nation what real football looks like. And they did it with millions of girls watching, believing, knowing that they could be footballers too.

So why, in 2025, are we still having to justify women’s place in the sport?

Enter: Joey Barton. Again. Unfortunately.

Joey “played 17 whole minutes for England” Barton, a man who’s been in court more times than he’s played international football, and who’s literally assaulted his wife, has decided to make himself the poster boy for outdated, sexist drivel. He’s been spouting off about how women’s football isn’t “real football” and how women should stick to the kitchen. Groundbreaking stuff, Joey. Did you find that line in your copy of Misogyny Monthly, or did you come up with it in between court appearances?

It’s pathetic. It’s tired. And it’s downright embarrassing.

The Lionesses have outperformed expectations, broken attendance records, sold out bloody Wembley, and inspired a new generation. Yet there’s still this boring old undercurrent of sexism from blokes who probably haven’t seen their toes in 15 years but think they could score a hat trick against Hannah Hampton.

Let’s not forget the FA banned women from playing football for decades. Literally banned. Just because they didn’t like that the ladies were getting popular. That sort of bullshit takes years, even decades, to undo. And even now, after the Lionesses have achieved more than most of the men’s team could dream of, they still get paid less, shown less, and taken less seriously.

Well, bollocks to that.

From now on, I’m calling it what it is: football. And if I need to refer to the blokes’ version, I’ll say men’s football. Because that’s what it is. Why the hell is the default always male? We don’t say “men’s tennis” or “men’s swimming” every five seconds. So why does women’s football get treated like it’s the knock-off version? Spoiler alert: it’s not.

Take Hannah Hampton, our goalkeeper, born with a serious eye condition, now standing between the sticks for England. Or Lucy Bronze, who played in the World Cup semi-finals with a fractured femur. A literal broken leg. And she still powered through. Meanwhile, some Premier League lads are on the floor like they’ve been shot because someone breathed near their sock.

And here’s the bit that gets me – I really wish women’s football had been more of a thing when I was a kid. I was crap at it (no lies there), but maybe I’d have tried a bit harder if I’d seen girls like me playing on TV and actually being celebrated. Now, having a daughter who loves football and wants to join a team, I’m bloody thrilled she’s got role models. I’m thrilled she sees the pitch as hers, not something she’s borrowing from the boys.

Imagine Harry Kane being asked if he’s worried about balancing having kids with his career, or whether he’s “taking the place of a more deserving man.” But that’s the kind of crap female footballers still have to deal with. And when they call it out? They get told to shut up and be grateful. Fuck that.

And back to Barton, the king of irrelevant opinions. His entire football legacy is basically a few red cards, a couple of strops, and 17 minutes in an England shirt. That’s it. He’s better known for being a court regular and a little sexist thug than a footballer. And yet, somehow, he thinks he’s qualified to slag off world-class athletes who have actually achieved something.

The truth? The Lionesses aren’t going anywhere. They’re in the schools, they’re in the grassroots clubs, and they’re in the bloody history books. They’ve already changed the game, and they’re just getting started.

So let Barton rage into the void. Let the dinosaurs have their last little roar.