As parents, our main obligations to our children are to ensure they are safe and happy and have the tools and skills to become functioning members of society. The role of a school is to support this. While parents are the most important people in facilitating happiness, safety, and education in a child’s life, schools are a close second. We are threatened with fines or worse, if we don’t send our children to school, so of course, when we send our children there for six or more hours a day, we expect them to take care of our children.
The problem is not every school can or will do that. Of course, it goes without saying that there are some absolutely superb schools out there. My daughter’s infant school is an incredible place—I send her knowing that she is in great hands there and they go above and beyond to make her happy, keep her safe, and help her learn. But sadly, I think that schools like that are becoming a lot less common.
I don’t blame the teachers—of course, there are always going to be the odd bad ones—but from my own experiences, the vast majority of teachers go well beyond their job description and genuinely care for the children in their classes. The problem is much, much deeper than that. It is the senior management, the local authorities, OFSTED/Estyn, and of course, the government. It is the lack of funding, the increasingly ridiculous workload and pressure put on staff, the restrictive curriculum and let’s face it, society as a whole. Education is no longer valued by so many parents, and they are passing this down to their children, who treat school, and the people who work in them, as an inconvenience.
In May this year, we deregistered Harrison from his high school and decided to home educate him. While I won’t go into the details of exactly what happened, he had put up with almost two years of relentless bullying, a lack of support from the staff and was coasting along, not reaching his potential in anything. Whether that was down to the teaching or because he didn’t feel safe or happy there remains to be seen, but I suspect it was a combination of both.
Again, I won’t delve into the details, but Harrison – who is a quirky, happy, bright, and confident lad – had become withdrawn, sad and angry. Seeing the change in him, particularly over the six months before we took him out of the school, was heartbreaking. I feel guilty now for not picking up on it sooner. I had put it down to teenage hormones, but to be fair, he wouldn’t open up and talk to us for fear of repercussions if I went to the school. We had been in multiple times and were given the ‘We will deal with it’ speech, but within days it was back to how it was.
One morning, it came to a head, and he opened up. I knew at that point I couldn’t send him back.
After speaking to the teachers at the school and being palmed off with the same old ‘we are dealing with it’, we decided enough was enough and sent the letter, formally removing Harrison from the school roll.
It was an incredibly difficult decision. By deregistering him, I have taken full responsibility for his education. I have no one to blame if it all goes tits up. I also have to bear all the financial responsibilities. I have to pay for any exams he does, which are upwards of £250 each. I have to pay for tutors, online lessons, and resources, and let me tell you, it doesn’t come cheap. It also means that I lose a huge amount of freedom because I need to be around as much as possible to facilitate learning. He’s pretty self-motivated, but let’s face it, he’s a teenager, and they all need a kick up the arse occasionally!
As we navigate the next few years, I will be writing about it on my blog. This is for several reasons. Firstly, it keeps us accountable. Secondly, it may help anyone who is thinking about taking the leap into home education. I won’t just share all the good bits because I am pretty sure that there are going to be lots of tough bits as well, and I will never sugarcoat anything. I will also share any tips, information, and resources that we find helpful.
Wish us luck!
