If you have read my blog recently, you may know that the week before half term, I had a miscarriage. Whilst it was still very early days (around 6 weeks), we were in shock and heartbroken.
Normally, I look forward to the kids being on holiday but I really struggled with it this time around. All I wanted to do was curl up and not have to face anything, which of course you can’t do with three demanding little boys. We managed to get back to Birmingham to celebrate mine and Alex’s birthday but the rest of the half term was a very quiet one. Normally we would be out doing something every day, but I just didn’t feel up to it this time. Luckily we have a park right outside the house so the kids could play out there, and they spent the rest of the time with their nose in some new books or on their tablets. I felt pretty crappy about it but I also know that it’s ok for them to do that once in a while.
On Sunday I woke up feeling a lot better, both physically and in my own head. It was dry (for once!) so we wrapped up in coats and I made a coffee in my travel mug and we headed to the park.
We’ve lived here in Abergele for 9 months now and we have only just discovered this fabulous park, just a really short drive from our house. It has tennis courts, enclosed football and basketball pitches, a big play area, lakes and plenty of grass for the kids to run about on.
We didn’t stay long, just a couple of hours but they got out and burned off plenty of pent-up energy, whilst I got some fresh air which really helped to clear my head.
I feel like Autumn has passed us by a bit this year. I had all these grand plans of going for lots of walks and stuff. Instead, the first couple of weeks of October were spent with me feeling nauseous and tired from early pregnancy, and the second half dealing with the miscarriage. I feel a bit sad about it now because Autumn is one of my favourite times of year and it is so very beautiful here. We are surrounded by hills covered in trees, which are all shades of red and orange, but now they’re starting to drop as we hurtle towards winter and Christmas.
When you feel like absolute shit, and you feel like the bottom is falling out of your world it’s so tempting to want to shut yourself in and not leave the house. It’s stupid though because, for me anyway, one of the best ways to lift my mood and make me feel better is fresh air and a walk.