The Teenage Grunt: Learning to Translate One-Syllable Communication

Jun 4

Rachel

There was a time, not all that long ago, when my boys would talk my ears off about dinosaurs, Minecraft, and why custard creams are the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time – keep up, Mum). These days? I’m lucky if I get a grunt and a flicker of eye contact between rounds of Roblox and something called Skibidi Toilet, which I’ve decided is best not to ask too many questions about.

“Morning!”
“Ugh.”
“Did you sleep okay?”
“Hmm.”
“What do you want for dinner?”
“Dunno.”
“Did you just call your brother ‘Sigma’ or ‘Ligma’?”

The Teenage Grunt-to-English Dictionary

Honestly, I think I deserve an honorary degree in teenage translation by now. Here’s a quick guide:

“Ugh”, I’m alive but annoyed that you’ve acknowledged me before noon.
“Huh?”, I heard you, but I’m busy keeping up my streak with someone on Snap and multitasking like a Gen Z king.
“Hmm”, Could mean yes, no, maybe, or “I’m waiting for my chicken nuggets to finish air-frying, please leave me be.”
“Whatever”, The classic. The backbone of teen language. Carries centuries of adolescent apathy.
“Mmm”, You’ve cooked something bussin. Do not speak while I’m eating it.

Bonus Round: Decoding Slang You Were Never Meant to Understand

Just when you think you’ve nailed down the grunts, they level up.

Rizz: Short for charisma. If one says they’ve got Rizz, it means they think they’ve got mad pulling power.
Skibidi: We don’t talk about Skibidi. It’s a fever dream of a meme that somehow hypnotises them. I’m scared.
Bussin: High praise. “This pizza’s bussin, Mum!” = gold star for you.
GOAT: Greatest of All Time. Used for everything from Messi to the mate who brought snacks to gaming night.

One of mine told me the cat had rizz the other day. I still don’t know if that was a compliment or an intervention.

Mood Swings & Mystery Noises

The real challenge isn’t the grunts themselves; it’s the mood changes that come with them. One minute they’re calling you a legend because you bought the good snacks, and the next, they’re lying face-down on their bed in what looks like existential despair because their Xbox headset wire is slightly twisted.

Sometimes I hear them yell “LET’S GOOOO!” from their room and have to double check they haven’t won the lottery. No, just won a digital battle royale and are now being declared the GOAT by someone called xxSkibidiKing420xx.

Tiny Moments of Actual Communication

But then, just when you think they’ve forgotten how to form full sentences, they surprise you. Maybe it’s a random “thanks for tea, that was actually bussin” or a casual “love ya” shouted from the hallway – never to your face, of course, because that’s against the Code of Teen.

And you cling to that moment. That glorious, fleeting flash of humanity.