*Paid guest post
When a marriage isn’t going too well, the idea of divorce might come up. This is a big step and not one to be taken lightly. Therefore, it can sometimes – often – be better to try a separation first. This will give you the time to decide whether or not you want to save your marriage, and it will give you a chance to see what life would be like on your own. The important thing to remember is that you need to work on the marriage during the separation – you can’t just stop living together and hope that an answer comes to you. Here are some tips on making this trial separation a success.
Have An End Date
Because a trial separation is not final and is certainly not the end of a marriage, it should have an end date. Whether it is weeks or months is down to you to choose, but it should give each partner enough time to work out what they want from the relationship, or whether they want it at all.
Without a time limit, your separation might ‘accidentally’ turn into a total separation and then divorce without you coming together to really discuss what you think and how you felt.
You can contact professionals to help out if this seems the logical next step, such as family law solicitors in Bath to help you understand the processes in obtaining a divorce.
Living Arrangements And Bills
If you are having a trial separation, someone will need to move out of the family home – otherwise, it won’t work as it is meant to. This will need to be discussed, but you will also need to talk about the bills that come with the family home; who is going to pay them during the separation? If someone has to move out, is it fair to ask them to pay the bills too?
Coming to terms with these ideas and ensuring that both parties are happy with the conclusions is paramount, otherwise, you may find that you are making things worse while trying to make things better.
The dating issue is a big one, and it is vital that it is discussed. Is dating allowed during a trial separation? If so, this can be the end of your marriage before you have even started to discuss it, but if you have been living separate lives for a while, perhaps it is something that might be worth trying. You can see how comfortable you are with it, and it might help you make a decision either way. This is extremely personal, so it is your choice in the end.
It can be all but impossible to work out where you want your relationship to go and what the next stage of it should be on your own. Friends and family will be well-meaning, but they won’t know how to help you properly. Professional help in the form of a counselor or mediation for you as a couple can be ideal. You can talk through your issues in a calm environment and then go your separate ways to think about what has been said.