Receiving a cancer diagnosis is never easy, but many people describe the worst part as having to tell their loved ones. You’re battling your feelings and fears, you don’t know what is going to happen, and you want to prepare yourself, but you also have to face telling other people. Sitting down and telling someone you love that you have cancer can be terrible, and there’s certainly no easy way to do it. It’s even harder when you have to tell your children.
The good news is that most forms of cancer are now more treatable than they’ve ever been before. More people are going into remission and living longer, healthier lives after their diagnosis. But, even very treatable cancers, which you have an excellent chance of surviving are going to affect your life. The treatments will be tough, you may face time in hospital. You may struggle to do the things that you love, and your family life is bound to change.
It’s normal for your children to be scared, upset, and feel alone. You should expect behavioural changes, mood swings and other issues. You’ll want to support and reassure your children while looking after yourself and trying your best to enjoy family life. It can be hard, but here are some tips to help you.
Make Sure You Know What to Expect
Your children are bound to have plenty of questions about what is wrong, what is going to happen, and how poorly you may become in the future. They’ll want to know what to expect, so you need to know what to expect. Seeking specialist cancer care from Circle Health Group can be a great idea. Getting the right cancer treatment from Circle Health Group means that you’ll have support, aftercare, and someone to answer all of your questions about different cancer treatments. Learn as much as you can from trusted sources so that everyone is well prepared.
Answer Their Questions Honestly
You might be tempted to sugar-coat things, telling them that everything is going to be fine. You might also want to offer vague answers, so as not to upset them. In reality, all you are doing by not giving them the information that they crave is sending them off to Google it, or to ask their friends. They’ll still get information, but it won’t be accurate, they’ll assume the worst, and they won’t have a supportive and loving parent by their side when they get it.
How much information you give your child will depend on how old and mature they are, but you should never lie to them or refuse to answer. Encourage their questions and answer as honestly as you can. If they ask something that you don’t know the answer to, speak to your doctor, or tell them that you’ll find out and tell them as soon as you can.
Get Support from Family and Friends
Parenting with cancer is difficult. You’ll be tired, sick and have other symptoms to deal with. Doing school runs, cooking dinner, taking your children to classes, helping with homework and other parts of parenting can at some points be too much.
Don’t be scared to ask for help. Book after school clubs if you can when you need to rest. Ask your wider support network if they can help out with some tasks and arrange playdates with your children’s friends. Don’t let yourself feel guilty for asking for more help. It will help you to recover and resting more means you’ll have more energy to give you your children when you do see them.
Give Your Children Responsibility
We all struggle when things happen that are out of our control, and children are no different. They’ll want to help you, to make your cancer go away, and they’ll struggle with feelings of helplessness. Giving them small responsibilities and asking for their help can give them something to focus on and help them to feel as though they are doing something to make a difference. Small tasks like chores around the house, walking the dog and making you a playlist to listen to while you receive treatment will help.
Revaluate Your Priorities
As parents, we have a lot of responsibilities. Even when we are healthy, keeping on top of everything can be tricky. When you are living with cancer, it can be impossible. So, revaluate and get help where you can. Can you afford to hire a cleaner? Could you drop your cleaning standards a little? Could you order food in more? Or freeze extra portions for easy midweek meals? Can you cancel some of your commitments, or even some of the kids’ classes and groups for a while?
Make Easy Plans
Spending time with your family will improve your mood and help your children to feel better. But you shouldn’t make big plans while you are having treatment. Instead, schedule things like movie days on the sofa and walks around the park which are easy to change if you need to.
Parenting with cancer can be tough, but do it with honesty, and a little bit of fun, and your family will get through.
